Ham Fat and Dog Butts
I promised.
The Man spoils the dogs. He gives them people food. I do too, sometimes, but only tiny little tid bits. The Man will occasionally indulge the dogs with a total bonanza of leftovers.
Rocket sits by his dish with drool flowing from the corners of his mouth and onto the floor, quivering with excitement. Sitka does the “Dance of the Husky”. Hip, hop, wiggle, squirm, jump, leap, BARK!
The Man gathers up the dog dishes and fills them.
Sitka says “IEEEE WAHHHHN SUMMMMM” in his best Siberian Husky Howleese. Translation - "I want some!" But you knew that. Never mind. Rocket emits supersonic high-pitched whines. "wheeeeeee! - wheeeeeeee!- wheeeeeee!"
The Man feels like a benevolent god. The dogs worship at his feet. The dishes filled, it’s time to present the bounty to the eager animals.
“Sit!” The dogs sit.
“Wait!” The dogs twitch, and shudder, and bounce up and down.
“No, WAIT!” They wait.
The Man sets down the dishes. Rocket turns on the Amazing Super Sucker in his mouth and inhales his food. It takes 2.7 seconds for him to empty the dish. Sitka sniffs, and daintily licks a lump of potato, and then a piece of ham, and actually savors his bowl full of Ham Fat Heaven. To each his own I guess. All is well. The left overs dispatched and the dogs sated. Ah, time for repose. Sleep, glorious sleep.
But wait – 12:45 am what is that noise? Why is Rocket whimpering? I try to fall back to sleep. Why won’t he stop whining? “Rocks! Do you need to go potty?” BARK! (In caps and bold!) Ugh! Okay! I let him out. Wow, he really needed to poop. “Good Boy now lets get some sleep”
2 am – whining again. Oh crud … “Rocks – let’s go” Super – he’s got the squirts. Just Super. “Good boy – you feel better now? Lets go back to bed”
3:55 am – WOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOO! “Rocks! Seriously???” BARK! (caps, bold, and underline!) “Okay, let’s go”. Poor dog! From his back end, he ejects a quarter-sized dollop of brown foam onto the snow. The next eight minutes he spends straining in vain to evacuate the offending left overs from his intestinal tract. Unfortunately, not even the ratchet action tail pumping technique he was using with such fervor was helping him relieve himself of the oversized load of fatty ham bits. Poor guy. He looks at me standing in the window and his eyes cry out – “I don’t feel so good”. Poor, poor boy.
Finally his guts give him the all clear and we go back up to bed to sleep peacefully for the next hour and forty-five minutes. Whoopee!
And Sitka - he has cast iron intestines. He was fine. Hey - there's a post, 10 things that have passed through my Husky's Gut and out his Butt! See Below. You'll laugh, and be amazed.
The next day all seems well, except for the gas. Oh my goodness the gas. Smells like a mixture of rotten eggs and propane. Nobody light a match – with in a 5-mile radius. I’m serious – it’s AWFUL!!!
Now if you want to read more about dog poop you can click on the link below - or you can skip that and come back later if you've had enough of pet excrement for the day. Okay? 'cause it's up to you.
